Heather abuse claims

19th Oct 2006, 11:00 pm

Heather McCartney has claimed that husband - ex-Beatle Paul - abused her physically and mentally during their brief marriage.

Giving evidence before a closed session of tabloid journalists, plucky Heather told of her ordeal. "Mealtimes was when it would normally start; a snide comment here, a kick under the table there. He always complained when we didn't have Linda bloody McCartney sausages. Or pies. Or burgers. We always had to have something to remind him of Saint Linda."

"He would make horrible jokes about my cooking in front of our guests, but would save the beatings until they'd left. Then he'd lock me in my room and not let me out until I'd finished off a whole plate of Linda McCartney Mexican Enchiladas... bastard."

Brave Heather broke down during the low-key international media event when her story moved on to the mental torture she endured. "We all suffered as one when the Frog Song was released of course, but that was nothing compared to the constant barrage of post-Wings pop-songs he subjected me to. His CD compilations in the car were unbearable, and of course at 70mph on the motorway there's no escape. The Frog Song, Ebony & Ivory, Freedom, that one about the Christmas ceasefire... Christ. Gimme Hey Jude or Penny Lane for gods sake!"

Evil Paul McCartney was unavailable for comment. (Probably. We didn't actually ask him.)

 

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