London Launches Olympic Biddy

4th Jul 2005, 11:00 pm

Ken Livingstone launched London's Olympic biddy today, claiming it was far superior to the biddy from France.

Old lady being fired from a canon
London's biddy heads north

London's Lord Mayor went on to describe the intricate preparations required for such an event.

"Well, first we had to find a suitable candidate. An open competition threw up several excellent quality old dears, but only one had that special something; that looseness of stocking, a certain tremor in the voice, a bit of a whiff. Maggie Thatcher was the obvious choice."

Maggie had been preparing for the launch for 6 months. The rigourous training included:

'Red' Ken went on to describe some of the technical details of the launch. "You see that bloody great canon over there? Well basically we just stuffed the old biddy in it, lit the fuse and settled back to watch. I swear, she nearly bloody cleared Big Ben!"


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